一向都讀唔到書既我....16歲開始我就開始唔鍾意返屋企...而且開始出去做野....因為我同我屋企既關係一直都唔好......一直都好想可以自由自在咁做自己鍾意既野...果陣時既我只會覺得我屋企人好煩...黑人僧...討厭...一D都唔明白我......我做乜野佢地都唔鍾意....咁樣既生活已經有十年.....我真係再忍唔到落去....冇人會知我有幾唔開心......冇人會理解.....晚晚都會哭....所以我決定出去搵野做..........起碼唔洗成日對住佢地......我搵到之後同佢地講....但係佢地唔比.....不過我最後都堅持要去做....開始返工之後.....次次放工我都會同我D FRIEND去玩...........因為我放工既時間係夜晚一點.......所以多數去唱K或者落D....一個禮拜得三..四日返屋企....就係因為咁..我老豆因我好多次我冇返一兩日佢就去報警.......佢令我更加僧佢....我對佢既僧恨只有加冇減.....但係我一樣冇理....一直都係咁玩....我冇做野之後我都照樣日日出街.....鍾意就唔返屋企....直到我17歲果年....我係CHAT ROOM識左一個叫紅毛仔既人.....之後約左出黎見......就係第一次見呢一日幾個鐘之後我地就一齊左.......不過果陣時我覺得唔會同佢行得耐..........因為佢個樣點睇都唔似唔係玩開果D人...所以我諗都冇諗過同佢可以好耐......同左佢一齊之後我都係唔想返屋企.....試過係佢到住左幾日...不過又驚佢屋企人唔比...所以之後我去左個FRIEND到住左一個禮拜......都冇返過屋企.....之後一直都冇返過去.....係個FRIEND住左一個禮拜之後就返阿聰屋企一直係佢屋企住.....足足住左大半年......因為唔想比佢屋企人知我冇返屋企......所以就講左個大話呃佢屋企人.....係呢半年日日都唔敢拿身分證出街....因為我知道我冇返一個禮拜之後我老豆就報左警......D差人成日打比我D FRIEND搵我....不過好好彩....次次就算比差人問好多野都冇事.....不過就好驚好驚....!!!
雖然呢D日子都唔容易過..不過起碼開心過係屋企果段日子.....因為佢一直都係我身邊照顧我...同佢一齊真係好多野都唔驚....因為同佢一齊佢可以比到安全既感覺比我....就算我比人捉左返去我知佢都會一直係我身邊......同佢一齊既時間唔算好耐...但係同左佢一齊短短既幾個月就發生左好多事......試過冇哂錢返屋企...係條街到過左成晚.....又肚餓...真係咁大過女都未試過咁慘...之後仲病左四日四夜...四日瘦左七磅...!!!!又試過HI野HI到反哂白眼......仲有好多好多..呢D事令我睇到出面既世界係一D都唔好玩..!!!.....不過就係因為發生左呢D事另我同佢既感情有增冇減.....同佢行左幾個月就好似同左佢一齊幾年咁耐.......真係估都估唔到....隔左一排之後我地既生活開始正常返...我開始做返野...佢都搵到份工......開始唔想出去玩.....慢慢我成個人都變哂...唔再係以前果個我~!!!係我唔返去屋企開始同係出面玩既日子令我失去左好多野.......但係亦得到好多野~!!...失去既係朋友....得到既係睇清楚身邊既人既真面目~!!!.....隔左一排終於都肯下定決心同阿聰一齊返屋企銷案....要返去面對佢地真係諗左好耐.....雖然我好僧佢地....但係隔左咁耐都好掛住佢地....返左去我諗佢地唔會再好似以前咁對我.....但係我估錯哂......一切同以前一樣.......令我好失望...好唔開心....返到去屋企我第一次同佢地講左好多我放左係個心到好耐既野.....一次過講哂出黎......係我返左去既每一日我都哭....解決哂所有野之後......我決定搬去同阿聰一齊住.....我阿爸第一個反對....但係好彩其他人都肯幫我.....因為其他人明白我走既原因....但係我爸一直唔認佢有錯.......之後我就住係阿聰屋企...有試過返去住一兩日......但係次次都係哭住走或者係同佢地嘈一大輪......我再一次接受唔到....我覺得好辛苦...所以之後都冇返過去住.......至於我大佬由我返去到而家我同佢都冇講過一句野....我到而家都唔明佢嬲我D乜野!!我而家就好似冇左個阿哥咁...!!!
冇幾耐之後我屋企人對我都冇乜野.....除左我大佬一個.....之後我同阿聰就有左.....仲結埋婚.....到而家我同屋企人D關係就好左好多......而家諗返起果陣時我咁對我屋企我覺得自己好衰.....我而家先知道佢地係好錫我.....好關心我.....只不過係果時用錯左方法....佢地始終都係我屋企人.......所以我而家好想補償番之前做錯既野...!!!....
係呢件事令我大個左好多....識諗左...亦都係因為識左佢開始改變左我一生~!!!有時有D野你真係估都估唔到!!!好好珍惜你身邊既人~!!!唔係會後悔一世~!!!
我同阿聰唔經唔覺咁就結左婚三個幾月喇~!!真係快....而且又有左八個幾月.....只係短短幾個月就發生咁多我諗都未諗過會發生既野....就好似人地D愛情小說咁~!!!哈~~~真係好似發左埸夢咁~!!不過我諗呢一場夢都有排我發.....本身自己都未搞掂自己就要做人阿媽......!!突然覺得好大責任......做人阿媽真係唔易...!!!我終於明白點解D阿媽成日話完個女都會講「第時你有仔有女果時你就知我養你幾辛苦」....雖然我而家只係大住個肚.....但係個感覺真係好特別.....要對住個肚十個月...每日感覺到佢係入面陏...去覆診時聽到佢既心跳.......晚晚佢一肚餓你就冇得訓.....呢D感覺令我對佢有感情.....但係要對住個肚咁耐...都咪話唔辛苦....好多野都唔做得...又有好多野唔食得....見到靚既衫又著唔到....最慘就係睇住自己一日咁重落去.....而家同未有之前真係重左好多......行得多又冇力...唉....做人阿媽真係偉大......不過我諗最辛苦都係生果時......聽好多人講生仔係十級痛楚..!!真係唔敢諗落去........不過呢一日好快就會到.....真係驚驚地~!!!不過做人阿媽就係咁架啦~~~~哈~!!各位姊妹....想做人阿媽真係要諗清楚呀~~!!!各位男仔唔係因為一時既快樂而搞出人命而又不負責任呀~~!!
做左20日媽咪有乜感覺??...初初果一兩個禮拜真係頂唔順.....實在太辛苦喇~!!!!因為頭一個禮拜我喂人奶....我未生之前都聽過好多關於喂人奶既野...個個都話好辛苦......但係初初都冇諗過會咁辛苦.....但係開始喂過之後....我就知原來真係好辛苦.....一個星期之後我真係頂唔順.....所以就用返奶粉.....唔係我冇心機喂......但係真係頂唔順.....喂佢喂到我都病埋.....又邊有人湊佢....個個都話我點解唔喂落去......個個都話喂人奶好....我夠知啦~!!!!!但係喂佢喂到我自己都唔掂...又邊可以湊佢呀~!!!!個個都比壓力我~!!!做女人真係慘~!!!生佢出黎已經夠哂辛苦.......生完之後個個都係睇BB多過睇你...你湊得佢唔好你又比人話....你辛苦到死都冇人會講句野安慰下你......聽得最多咪就係....湊仔係咁辛苦架啦~!!!我喂唔到人奶D人就會話.......有冇搞錯呀...仲乜唔喂落去呀....辛苦都要喂架啦...對佢好呀~!!!!!!!!!我聽完呢句我都唔知可以講乜...佢地又有冇諗過我好唔好??.............唉..................做女人~!!!!!!真係.......慘!!!!!不過我終於都明白點解會有"世上只有媽媽好"呢首歌~!!!不過做左廿幾日媽咪既我都開始習慣....雖然成日冇覺好訓...又成日病...但係睇住佢一日一日咁大真係好開心.......睇睇下仲有幾日就一個月....話快唔快..話慢唔慢....!!未做過人阿媽真係唔知道做阿媽原來係咁辛苦~!!諗返起以前我咁對我阿媽真係覺得自己好衰~!!!不過好彩我18歲就識諗...唔再好似以前咁十五六歲果時咁..成日同阿媽頂頸~!!做左人阿媽好多野都識諗左好多........個人都大個左好多...死啦...而家我好似好老添~!!哈哈~
今日係老公生日..又係我地結婚四個月既大日子.....老公今年你生日我都冇野送比你......sorry呀~不過你放心啦~總有一日我會一次過送番哂比你~~~~有心唔怕遲嗎~!!其實我有一樣想送比你好耐..但係又冇時間去買.....唔...老公~你又大一歲啦~~~其實我都唔知可以點樣同你慶祝.......我又冇樣叻...只可以祝你返工冇咁辛苦...早d放工.......搵多d錢...開開心心咁生活.....
終於都買左我想買好耐果樣野送比你啦~有次同你行街你見到隻耳環你想買..但係貴以冇買....其實果時聽你咁講我好想送比你.......貴唔貴麵冇所謂...只要係你鍾意就得啦~但係我又唔想係你面前買之後送比你....我想比個驚喜你....但係一直都冇咁既機會......我平時又唔會一個人出街....你知啦~我住左屯門成年我都唔記得D路....如果要去到出面我驚我唔識路返黎...哈哈~@_@.....不過等左咁耐到最後都係同你一齊先買到~不過冇所謂啦~~~你鍾意咪得囉~!!!
唉......湊左咁多日仔真係覺得好煩~!!!但係當佢笑既時候......你就會覺得佢好得意好想同佢玩~~但係當你好唔得閒果時佢係到哭到屎...要你理佢........你就會覺得好煩~初初都唔會覺得佢煩既.....但係對住佢耐左你就會覺得佢煩架啦~!!!!又或者係我未想做人阿媽住啦~~~!!!!哈.....我同親人地講佢好煩~唔想理佢...D人就會話...."乜你咁唔負責任架"....哈..!!冇計啦~~~我一直都唔想生佢出黎....所以唔怪得我會咁講....既然生左佢出黎我對佢又愛又恨....因為我係佢阿媽....但令一方面我又唔想係佢阿媽~!!!哈..我都唔知我可以點~!!!我始終都覺得我仲未係時候做人阿媽.....我仲細...我鍾意自由...唔鍾意因為一D野而令我冇左自己既時間...我唔係未玩夠...........但係要我負起D咁大既責任同時間我會覺得好辛苦.......但係如果當初我係有哂心理準備我諗我唔會好開心咁接受唔會好似而家咁講呢D野~!!我而家咁講唔係想話邊個唔岩....只不過我想發洩下我既辛苦........因為冇人知我個心點諗...但係我都唔會同人地講....我既唔開心同辛苦!!!.......因為我冇心機講...都冇人有心機聽...始終都係自己既問題....講左又係咁...唔講又係咁.....要講我請願打出黎好過....打字好過打人丫~起碼都算係有得發洩丫~~~~~~~~哈~@_@~!!!
濠仔已經兩個幾月大啦......佢而家好鍾意同人玩....佢笑果時真係好鬼死得意....又成日搵人同佢傾計...哈...上次同佢去磅重已經有十一磅半啦~~哈哈........不過佢苛D屎就越黎越臭....e..........唔....原來由初生至到小六要打十二支針同埋口服六支架..真係唔睇返都唔知要打咁多知呀~上次先同佢去打針......睇到都驚呀....要捉實佢隻腳同大脾...一野吉落去.....佢就面都紅哂成個關公咁..哭到嘩嘩聲.....真係睇到都心痛~!!!!...打完果晚仲發燒.......>.<.....不過發燒果日佢好搞笑.....佢一見到我地就笑...之後又哭又笑...仲撒嬌.....真係頂佢唔順.....!!!!
唉~冇上網一排濠仔已經四過幾月大啦~日子一日一日咁過.......我就日日都係係屋企湊仔.....同等老公放工....真係悶到屎呀~雖然話有個仔陪我....但係同佢可以做得d乜...最近同左我好耐冇見既中學同學出黎......我地坐低飲野傾計都坐左四個幾鐘......哈.....上次同左我同我老公同埋我個好朋友COCO仲有佢D FRIEND出去....果晚我同我老公仲破例落左D......唉...我地都有年幾冇落啦~!!落到去都冇以前玩得咁FEEL~~不過唔係COCO叫我落我都唔會落~~只係果日就洗左五百幾六百蛟~~唉....我諗下次都唔會玩得咁多.....雖然以前黎講洗幾百蛟都唔自在.....但係而家對於我黎講就唔係咁值....不過都唔係成日......哈~@@~而家我買衫都冇咁FEEL....都要就住就住..哈...有個仔就係咁架啦~~~但係我識得有個FD佢仲好細個..而家先得16歲..佢同我講話有左..仲要結婚...我識佢果時已經落過一次...佢今次又有左佢話唔想再落..佢條仔話會同佢結婚...但係佢條仔之前已經成日出去玩又成日同第二D女仔一齊...係我個FD先至忍得到佢咁耐....佢條仔仲細諗既野都唔多..仲話要同佢結婚.....就算佢地結婚之後我覺得仲有好多問題....因為佢地實在太唔識諗囉~~~不過我知我同佢講乜都冇用...佢決定左就唯有祝福佢啦~!!!如果佢條仔係一個好男仔我諗我會放心D~~
終於可以整下個網頁喇~!!都有成年幾冇整喇....!!連字都唔記得點打~哈~BB都歲幾喇...仲有四個月就兩歲LU...佢而家識得行..仲識周圍搞亂當~!!有時都會覺得好煩架~~
我病左又冇人同我睇住佢......又冇得訓...自己一個做晒...!!我老公
?佢而家返四點A.M.放四點P.M.呀!!放工返黎都訓覺啦....佢唔訓覺就打
機架啦....唉....話都話過佢N次....都係咁
叫佢陪下我又話
激死我
2004年4月3日 晚上
今日真係好想死...BB呢幾日都嘈音攻擊我....由朝嘈到晚....佢D聲真係煩到你頂唔順...係唔係都哭.都唔知佢哭乜...唉...我已經覺得自己好有忍耐力架啦~!但係呢幾日我都頂唔順呀..可想而知佢有幾煩~!!
2009年1月9日 晚上 到底我可以點?
真係好耐好耐冇上黎整下個網喇...最近真係好忙...bb已經6歲喇...係呢幾年裡面真係轉變左好多...不單止生活上改變就連以前開心既感覺都好似除著時間而減少了不小....睇返呢個網頁會令我諗返起好多以前開心既野...但係又會令我覺得好無奈...我覺得無奈係因為而家既我好辛苦...我明白人生始終有悲有喜...但係而家我會成日問自己...到底我咁辛苦為咩呢?為頭家?為bb?定係為自己?我真係唔知........我真係好攰好攰.......我唔係身體上的攰..而係我個心好攰....我好辛苦...日日係公司都接到學校老師的來電......話阿b係學校好唔聽話...成日出位....係公司又要對住做左成年都成日做錯野既同事.........返到屋企...對住一堆冇人執既雜物...老公返到黎只係對住個電腦.....好似所有野都係要我一個人去理...我真係唔知我可以支撐到幾耐...對住阿b既問題我真係唔知再點樣去教佢....學校話佢有過度活躍..叫我同佢睇醫生....睇左但要排期...起碼要等成年...但係呢段時間我用哂所有既方法教佢.....都係咁...開左學兩個月已經見埋校長..!!我真係好大壓力...好想有人同我分擔下...好想另一半會明白我........但係呢個世界就係咁........唔係我"想"就會係咁......好無奈我要接受呢一d問題.....一d冇人同我分擔既問題..只有我自己去撐...我亦都好明白為人母親唔係一件容易既事......只不過我真係好辛苦...但係為人父親就可以不理不聞張所有問題都交比妻子去理嗎?
我每天都要6:30起身準備送阿b返學.....7:35分校車就會到....如果錯過左學車就要自己坐的士送佢返學...車費來回要100元...最近我常常唔知醒..通常我返工的時間都是8:00...所以如果我唔知醒遲左起身的話我就送不到bb上學了.....這個時侯就要叫我老公幫忙送他上學.....但是每次叫他送阿b返學時他都大發脾氣說我的不是....又說我搞到佢冇得訓...又話唔好叫我..你自己搞掂佢....大大聲呼呼渴渴咁樣....但係我想的嗎?送阿b返學是我一個人的責任嗎?他返工的時間是10:30....每天放工回家都只顧對住電腦......每晚都打機打到5點幾先訓...我唔知醒要他送阿b返學..這樣就是我令他冇得訓嗎?問題又是在我的身上?........相反如果我的返工時間是10:30...他返工時間是8:00的話....那麼送bb返學的責任就是他嗎?
他放假時送bb返學的又是我.....我放假時送bb返學都是我....!!!!!!他放假可以訓耐d.....我放假就唔可以嗎?
